The Fart (Comedy)

Note: It is partially written in pidgin English.

By Jenn Azu

The group was seated around the center table inside Chi Chi’ s food and dining. They had just finished a sumptuous meal when Ekene started feeling the urge again.  They should be heading out to their next class but his friends were still engrossed in the conversation about last night’s soccer. Ekene tossed in his seat a couple of times to ease the pain caused by his gassy stomach to no avail. 

“That goal Reis missed messed me up, mehhhn.” Iyke said as he briefly flapped his hands over his head as if in distress

“I beg leave that guy. Him just spoil show for everybody.” Justin retorted “If na me be coach I for bench am. Him no go see ball for another six months.” 

Ekene turned his attention away from the conversation to the stereo installed in the corner of the room for blasting music.  The loudness of that music is enough to drown the sound of my fart. He thought and gently leaned over to raise his butt for a release. A few seconds later, he felt relieved. He leaned back comfortably into his chair and looked up to meet the horrified stare of his colleagues? 

“What?” He queried 

“Guy, why you go do that kind thing na?”  Justin snapped at him

“What did I do?” Ekene said, trying to maintain a straight face

“Which kind mess be that one for our presence na?” Marvelous asked angrily

Ekene paused for a second wondering how his colleagues could have heard his fart over the loud music. Suddenly, he felt for his head and pulled away the stereo headset he’d been wearing over his ears. 

Crap! The music was blasting in my ears alone. 

He completely forgot he had those on. 

“I’m sorry. Please don’t be offended. It’s the bea…” Ekene tried to explain but his friends ignored him. They started rising to leave. He shook his head self pity and rose to join them but made a mental note to pour away the peas he had prepared and eaten the previous night. 

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